I just made myself a whiskey sour. It’s Friday night and I’m in my PJs after deep cleaning my apartment. Tonight is a very different Friday night compared to my Friday night last week and the events of last Friday keep replaying in my mind so I decided to blog. Here we are.

I won’t get into too much detail because it was quite involved, and quite frankly, not my story to tell, but last Friday night was very eventful to say the least. One of my very dear friends had her bachelorette party, and the night ended in a very unexpected way. Again, not my story to tell, but it had me thinking of friendship breakups. It had me running parallels to friends who I left behind in my life. In some cases, I feel like friendship breakups hurt worse than relationship breakups.

I have a lot of acquaintances – a lot of people who I will hang out with or grab a bite to eat with. I don’t have a lot of close friends. I don’t have a best friend, not anymore at least. That one was the hardest. There will be many people who will come into your life for a brief period of time and some will have a huge impact on your life, but I strongly believe if they end up leaving, they were in your life for a purpose and once they serve that purpose, the time will come for them to split paths with you. I’ve also had people who I’ve left behind in my life because I grew out of that friendship, similar to growing out of a relationship. I’ve been at a different place mentally than another person and there was nothing more left in common to continue that friendship on.

I also had a friend who I no longer speak to who had the biggest impact on my life a few years ago. She will never know how much she helped me when I was in such a dark period in my life, but the friendship turned extremely toxic and it was unhealthy for us to continue being friends. I ended that friendship on my own terms to protect my mental health, but she was there for me for two years, unknowingly.

I can usually see, in hindsight, why a friendship broke and I can come to peace with it, but there are certain friendships that have taken me some time to process and accept and one that I’m still working through it to this day. It’s hard. Just like breaking up with a significant other and sometimes there is no closure. I strongly believe you do not need to give someone a reason for wanting to protect yourself and your peace. Your mental health and your well-being come first. You do not owe anyone an explanation, if you know you’re doing it for yourself. You can offer them an explanation out of courtesy, but you don’t owe anyone anything. Remember that.

As humans, we’re constantly changing and growing, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, throughout our lives. Our interests, the way we present ourselves, the way we think are constantly evolving. It only makes sense for our immediate surroundings, including people, to be evolving. It’s not a bad thing. Someone once told me we are the combination of the five closest people in our lives. If that’s the case, who do you want to be surrounded by?

Respect and protect your own peace and needing time to heal is 100% okay.

Thank you for reading.

– xox. JayLee