I mentioned in my introduction post that I write as a form of escapism and my writings have absolutely (99% of the time) nothing to do what is going on in my life. It’s just a brain-break or whatever the equivalent of that is. Let me elaborate…

Imagine you’re working on an extensive project – any project – and it takes up all of your time and energy. You’re living and breathing this project to get it completed at some point in time for some reason or another. On a random Thursday, your coworkers decide to take a break and go to happy hour and you probably spend the remainder of the afternoon/evening not working on this project even though it’s in the back of your mind. Well, now, imagine a traumatic event that just happened. [Side note: Trauma comes in all different shapes and sizes, severity and longevity. You should in no way ever feel like a trauma that you’ve ever experienced is unimportant or how you’re feeling is unjustified. If it affected you in any way, shape, or form, it is your right to feel and heal in your way. I digress.]

By nature and personality, I am the type of person to mull over something a hundred, even a thousand times over and it sends me spiraling. I take myself out of this position if I catch myself in it, which I’ve gotten better at over the years, and I put myself into a more manageable world in my head. Good books can let a reader into a universe the author created in their head. I’m just creating this other universe for myself in whatever I decide to imagine. I’ve gone deep into these before too. I think my longest writing episode was probably 3 or 4 weeks. My longest period of wanting to keep writing was probably a year. Once the spark is gone and I don’t feel the need to pick up my pen, iPad, or laptop, I know I have accepted/understood what in my reality was happening/happened to me. It might seem strange to most, but that is how my brain works.

If you’ve read this far, you may be confused. What happened to you that would cause you to want to essentially disappear? That’s a story for another time. Thank you for reading.

– xox. JayLee